<![CDATA[Mary Jane Fitch

<![CDATA[Mary Jane Fitch - Untitled]]>Sun, 21 Dec 2025 11:49:09 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[I Approach My Life Unconditionally]]>Fri, 30 Dec 2016 20:24:42 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/i-approach-my-life-unconditionally

If we wait until conditions are perfect to be happy, we may never be happy. And what if that condition is met and then things change? Or what if one condition is met to make you happy but then another condition isn't met? Then do you go back to being unhappy? Don't let what's going on around you determine whether you're happy or not. Choose to be happy regardless of what is going on around you. Be unconditionally happy!

]]><![CDATA[Check out my interview on The Mind Aware Show!]]>Tue, 12 Jan 2016 02:09:09 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/check-out-my-interview-on-the-mind-aware-showI had a great time being interviewed by Dana Wilde on The Mind Aware Show! Check out my Three Tips for Getting Unstuck!

]]><![CDATA[Do you realize how powerful your thoughts are?]]>Thu, 04 Sep 2014 14:50:31 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/do-you-realize-how-powerful-your-thoughts-are

Do you realize how powerful your thoughts are? Your thoughts control your life. Stop and think about that for a second. Your thoughts control your life. What do you spend most of your time thinking about? Do you spend your time thinking about things that make you happy? Things that you're grateful for? Things that make you smile and laugh and feel good? Or do you spend your time worrying about the things that are wrong in your life? These are important questions because, seriously, your thoughts control your life. You've probably heard the phrase "What you think think about comes about." So if you spend the majority of your time dwelling on the negative things in your life, things probably aren't going to change any time soon. It's time to take control of your thoughts and take control of your life. I'll admit, it can be challenging but it can be done. It gets easier and easier the more you work at it. It basically comes down to listening to your feelings. If you feel bad, it’s probably because of something you’re thinking about. So whatever it is you’re thinking about, stop thinking about it. Stop dwelling on it. I know, I know, “But it’s important, I HAVE to think about it.” I have news for you . . . NO YOU DON’T! You have control over your own thoughts and you get to decide what you think about. And if what you’re thinking about is making you feel awful, it’s not doing you any good to think about it. If it’s a problem that you have to figure out and you can’t avoid it, then get yourself in a better feeling place before you think about it again. Go for a walk. Play with your kids. Put on your favorite song and dance around the room like no one is watching. Listen to your favorite comedian. Get yourself feeling better. Then maybe try thinking about it again. But don’t go back to where you were before . . . upset, overwhelmed, worried, stressed out. Tell yourself that you know the solution is out there and you’re looking forward to figuring it out. You know that you’re going to feel better once this is taken care of and you don’t have to worry about it anymore. It’s stressful right now but once everything is taken care of, everything will be okay. Because everything will be okay. Trust me. It will.

]]><![CDATA[When was the last time you did something just for you?]]>Mon, 01 Sep 2014 05:14:05 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/when-was-the-last-time-you-did-something-just-for-you

This world is so crazy and we all get so involved with everything that’s going on in our lives and other peoples’ lives that we forget to take care of ourselves. I’ve had people tell me that it’s selfish to think of yourself first before anyone else. I know it seems like that’s the case but if you look at it from the right point of view, it truly isn’t selfish to make yourself a priority. It doesn’t mean that you’re mean to other people. It doesn’t mean that you totally ignore other peoples’ needs. It doesn’t mean that your family or your friends will think you don’t love them anymore. It’s actually quite the opposite. When you put yourself first, you are making sure that you’re happy. And when you’re happier, the people around you will be happier. And when the people around you are happier, you’re happier. The better it gets, the better it gets.

When is the last time you did something for yourself just because you wanted to? Just to relax and feel good. Enjoyed a cup of coffee. Sat on your porch and watched the sunset. Went to a movie . . . without your kids. Read a good book. Meditated. Just sat down and caught your breath for a second. Went for a walk. Seriously, when is the last time you did anything like that? I may be going out on a limb here but I’m guessing you need to do it more often. Life is supposed to be fun and it’s up to you to make sure that it is. Doing things that make you unhappy every single day only adds up to an unhappy life. It doesn’t mean you have to change everything about your life overnight. Just start doing one thing a day that’s just for you. Just one little thing. Something that makes you laugh. Or smile. Or relax and catch your breath. You don’t have to tell anyone else about it. All that matters is that it makes YOU feel good.

I think you’ll be happy you did.

]]><![CDATA[Oh. My. Goodness. I'M HAPPY!]]>Sat, 25 Jan 2014 06:54:50 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/oh-my-goodness-im-happy

I did it! I actually did it! I'm happy! Seriously. I'm not kidding! This is a big deal! If you've read my "About Me" page on this website, then you know that being happy has not been easy for me. I don't know why. I wish I could tell you why, but I don't know why. I have to be honest with you, it wasn't easy. There were a lot of good days and a lot of bad days. And a couple of really bad days. But I stuck with it, I refused to give up, and I did it! And now I can't believe how easy it is!

So do you want to hear the big secret behind being happy? You'll be surprised how simple it is. The quote above has a lot to do with it. Happiness, I have found, is all in your head. It's all about what you're thinking about at any give moment. And you know the cool thing about that? We have total control over our thoughts. People may try to persuade us to think a certain way and they may even convince us to think a certain way, but ultimately, we have complete and total control over our thoughts. We get to decide what we think and we get to decide what we believe. One of my favorite quotes from Abraham-Hicks is "A belief is just a thought that you think over and over and over." It's how all of our beliefs were formed. When you were younger, your parents had a big part in helping you to form your beliefs. The things that they thought were really important they probably repeated to you over and over and over and it became a belief. "Brush your teeth or they'll fall out." "Drink your milk, it will make you strong." "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." As we got older, we started forming our own beliefs through our own experiences. Unfortunately, not all of them were beneficial. "I'm shy." "I'm not very smart ." "I'm terrible at sports." The more we repeat these things to ourselves, the more we believe them. Luckily, we can reprogram our negative beliefs the same way we programmed them in the first place and it's just as easy to do. Drop the negative self-talk and start telling yourself what you WANT to believe. Yes, I said what you WANT to believe. Remember, we get to choose our own thoughts. And just because you've thought something over and over and over doesn't necessarily make it true. You've just convinced yourself that it's true. You can change what you believe using the same method. Start repeating what you want to believe. Yes, it will probably feel silly at first but it will get easier. When that little voice in your head starts to argue with you about what you want to believe, just tell it to shut up. That's your old belief fighting to stay alive. It's been around for a long time so you might have to wrestle it to the ground to shut it up but you can do it. The best thing to do is just ignore it and keep telling yourself what you want to believe. If it's too hard and that voice keeps trying to keep the old belief alive, take a break for a bit. Think about something else . . . something that makes you HAPPY. Don't dwell on the negative stuff. That's not getting you anywhere! That's moving your momentum in the wrong direction. Think about something happy that makes you smile. Or listen to your favorite song. Or go for a walk in the sunshine. Or give your kids a hug. Whatever it is that makes you feel good. Then when you're feeling better, try working on reprogramming those negative beliefs again. Don't give up. It will get easier. And it will be worth it. I promise.

Are you unhappy? Do you wish you could be happier? I can help! Go to the Happiness Coaching page on my website to schedule some time to talk to me about how you can be happier. I look forward to talking to you! ~ Mary Jane

]]><![CDATA[Anticipate Your Life]]>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 17:31:33 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/anticipate-your-life

Did you know that the Universe knows everything that you want? Exactly how you want your life to be? You tell it with every thought you think; with every feeling you feel. And, yes, with every word you speak. The asking is already done. Now relax and RECEIVE what you have asked for.

Think about something you want (For example, I want more money.)

Think about WHY you want it. (So I can pay my bills and have some breathing room at the end of the month.)

Think about how you will FEEL when you get whatever it is you want. (Relief, less stressed)

Now, instead of continuing to think about what you want and why you want it, focus on how you will feel when you get it. Close your eyes, picture how life will be when you have what you want. Imagine how it will feel when you have what you want. Really focus. Really feel how good it will feel. Do you feel it?

THAT is the feeling you want to hold on to.

You know that feeling you get when you know something good is going to happen? That feeling of anticipation? Like, say, you’re going on your dream vacation next week and you’re looking forward to it so much that you just want to do a little dance every time you think about it? THAT is how you want to feel about how you want your life to be.

KNOW that it’s coming your way. Feel the anticipation, the excitement of how good it’s going to feel when it gets here. Let that feeling carry you through the moments when you start to doubt.

Don’t worry.

Don’t work so hard on getting what you want that you make yourself sick.

Don’t stress

Just let it happen

When you start sliding the other way and going back to thinking about why you want what you want (Oh my God, I got another bill. There’s no way I can pay this. What am I going to do???) . . .

STOP!

Close your eyes.

Take a long slow deep breath in.

Hold it for a second.

Now let it out and…

BELIEVE!

Go back to that feeling of how good it’s going to feel when you get what you want. Feel the relief wash through your body. Feel the anxiety melt away.

Continue to take deep breaths while you let that feeling of relief wash over you.

Remind yourself that you can have anything you want.

Goals and the action steps needed to reach your goals are important but just as important is believing that you can reach your goals.

Every time you worry about whether or not you can or will reach your goal, you set yourself back another step.

Don’t let the worry or fears in.

When you feel them coming, follow the steps above…

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

BELIEVE!

]]><![CDATA[What are you PASSIONATE about?]]>Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:33:03 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/what-are-you-passionate-about

Have you ever met anyone that loves their job? I mean, really, REALLY, loves their job? That's PASSIONATE about their job? Me either. I've heard these people exist but I've never met one. But I so badly want to be one of those people. When I first started writing this post, which I will admit, was a couple of months ago, I wrote this in my journal:

"I want something that I'm truly passionate about. I want something that I get excited about as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. That I love to do so much that I don't want to stop, even to sleep at night."

I knew I hadn't found it yet but I knew it was out there. I knew because Steve Jobs told me so:

I also knew there are people that think I'm being silly and that I should get a job, any job, so I can contribute to our family income. Steve had something to say about that too:

Well, I'm very happy to report that I DID find a job. But I didn't find just any job. I found the PERFECT job for me. And you know what? I found it because I refused to give up and just take the first job that came along. The cool thing about my job is that it goes right along with my passion. Did I forget to mention that I figured that out? My passion? Yep, I sure did. But we'll talk about that in my next blog post. ;-)

]]><![CDATA[This Blog Post is NOT About Sex or Politics]]>Sun, 07 Oct 2012 04:12:55 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/this-blog-post-is-not-about-sex-or-politics

There's an old saying that you should never discuss sex, politics or religion in polite company. Well, rest assured that I'm not going to talk about sex or politics in this blog post.
☺
So, let's talk about religion.

I have struggled with religion my entire life. Maybe "struggled" is the wrong word. I guess I should probably say that I just don't understand religion. No, that's not right either. I just don't "get it". I've never been able to understand why some people have such a complete and unwavering faith in God. I don't have anything against those people. I just don't understand why they feel that way and I don't. Do they know something I don't? Were they taught something that I missed out on?

My parents took me to church when I was growing up and I fought it every step of the way. I didn't want to get up on Sunday morning. I wanted to sleep in. And the only memory I have of going to confirmation classes is that they were on Wednesday nights and our Pastor wouldn't cancel it the night of one of the few Middle School dances so I had to miss the dance. Maybe that's what turned me off to religion (just kidding). But hey, I knew the 10 Commandments and I was able to rattle off all of the names of the books of the Old and New Testaments (and before you ask, no, I don't still remember them.) To me, church was just somewhere that my parents made me go where we sang songs and had to sit still while we listened to long, boring sermons that had absolutely nothing to do with me. Don't get me wrong, I learned the basics and knew that I was supposed to be good to others...yada yada yada...so the main lesson got through. But as I got older, I really struggled with whether or not I believed in God. If someone asked me, I couldn't really give them an answer. Did I believe that there was a man living in the sky that knew everything we did every second of the day? No, not really. I guess that was the only real image I had of God. If if I didn't have any proof that God existed, why was I supposed to trust that he would watch over me and make everything okay? And how did other people accept that so easily? Again, did they know something I didn't?

Well, you'll be happy to know that my recent research into Happiness has helped me to figure out the answers to some of these questions. The book I am currently reading, Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith, has really been helpful in this area. Although I have to admit, I have to read it V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y and reread each chapter to really get what Mr. Beckwith is saying, I have to admit that I am really enjoying this book, which really surprises me. I mean, it IS about religion, which is not one of my favorite topics. BUT, it is helping me to finally understand religion in a way that makes sense to me. And it's helping me to understand how those people that have an unwavering faith in God feel.

Don't get me wrong, I still don't think there is a man living in the sky that knows everything we do every second of the day. But I do believe that we are each a product of the Universe (aka God) and that we are each born with everything that we need to lead a full, complete and happy life (i.e., created in God/the Universe's image). I believe that the Universe is infinitely abundant and that the Universe is for us (as opposed to against us), just waiting to give us everything we want if we will let it. What amazes me is how most of us (me included) resist accepting everything the universe has to offer. We tell ourselves that we're not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, etc. and if we believe that about ourselves, why would we think that anyone (including the Universe) would want to do anything for us or give us anything that we want? The Universe is funny that way. It's like an echo. Whatever you give is what you get back. So if you're constantly complaining about not having enough then you'll get more of the same. But if you give thanks and gratitude for the good things you have in your life, then you'll get more good things. But in this day and age, it's very hard to focus on the good things in our lives. Everywhere we go we hear about everything that's going wrong in the world, whether it's through the internet, from our friends or (God forbid) the TV news. That's why it's important to remember that everything we need to be happy is already inside of us. You can't ignore everything that's going on around you, but you can REFUSE to let it take away your happiness. Happiness truly does come from within. You just have to keep nurturing it and feeling it, no matter what.

]]><![CDATA[The Life Lesson That's Never Really Taught]]>Sun, 16 Sep 2012 19:35:57 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/the-life-lesson-thats-never-really-taught

Since the day we were born, our parents have been teaching us how we should act and behave...

"Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"Think before you speak."

"Always say 'Please' and 'Thank you'."

"Always do your best."

"If all the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you want to do that too?"

"You can't buy happiness."

"If you want other people to love you, you have to love yourself."

"Don't judge people."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"Don't be a sore loser."

"What comes around goes around."

That stuff stuck with us (we all know we're saying it to our kids) but how long did it take until we actually "got it"? Usually it took a couple of life lessons to realize what they really meant. But even with the best of intentions (and a lot of vague platitudes), our parents can't teach us everything we need to know about life. We still have to fumble through on our own and learn as we go. Given how the world is such a negative place (have you watched the news lately?) it's not surprising that so many of the people we come across every day seem so negative and unfriendly (can you say "road rage"?). I think we can all use a reminder about how to be truly happy.

Those of you that know me on Facebook know that I try my best to stay positive (if not, check out my page on Facebook: The P.A.C.E. Page - Positive Attitude Changes Everything). I try my best to share things that will remind people what a difference a positive attitude makes. With all of the self-improvement books I've read and audio-books that I've listened to, I really thought I had learned a lot about staying positive and being happy. But acting happy and being happy are two different things. As mentioned in my previous post, I recently decided to start studying Happiness so I could learn more about it and try to figure out why it seems like I've been chasing happiness my whole life but never quite catching it. The book I just finished reading has definitely made me realize that I am now headed in the right direction.

Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff talks about "the seven steps to being happy from the inside out". I'm pretty sure I finished it in three days. I had a really hard time putting it down. It's a common sense kind of book. It reminds us of a lot of the things our parents tried their best to teach us when we were growing up and explains why those things are important. I really got a lot out of Ms. Shimoff's book and would recommend it to everyone. (Everyone could use a little refresher course on how to be happy every now and then!) I think the best way to sum up what I learned (or was reminded of) from the book can be found in the following passage:

"When you're Happy for No Reason, you bring happiness to your outer experiences rather than trying to extract happiness from them. You don't need to manipulate the world around you to try to make yourself happy. You live from happiness, rather than for happiness. Most of us focus on being Happy for Good Reason, stringing together as many happy experiences as we can, like beads in a necklace, to create a happy life. We have to spend a lot of time and energy trying to find just the right beads so we can have a 'happy necklace'. Being Happy for No Reason is like having a happy string. No matter what beads we put on our necklace -- good, bad or indifferent -- our inner experience, which is the string that runs through them all, is happy, creating a happy life. When you're Happy for No Reason you're unconditionally happy. It's not like your life always looks perfect -- it's just that however it looks, you'll still be happy."

The rest of the book "shows you step-by-step how to raise your happiness level". I have to admit, I think this book has helped me feel happier in the week or so since I finished reading it. It has changed my perspective about a lot of different things. Instead of worrying about all of the things that I usually worry about, I have realized that I will always be unhappy if I let those things dictate whether I'm going to be happy or not.

One of the things in the book that made me realize that I had started down the right path by studying Happiness was this:

"It's been proven that simply putting your attention on becoming happier has a powerful effect. In fact, one of the very first happiness experiments ever conducted demonstrated this. In 1977, Dr. Michael Fordyce, a psychologist and the author of The Psychology of Happiness, published the groundbreaking results of his experiment showing that students asked to study the habits of happy people actually increased their happiness and life satisfaction by just learning about the subject."

And it also included an important point:

"...investing time and attention to become happier is like diet and exercise; you can't do it for just a day or two, it has to be continued over time."

I hope you'll come along for the ride and work on being happier with me!

]]><![CDATA[So, why am I writing a blog anyway?]]>Sun, 09 Sep 2012 03:42:12 GMThttp://www.maryjanefitch.com/untitled/so-why-am-i-writing-a-blog-anyway

I'm not anyone special. I'm your average, middle-aged wife and mom. Nothing spectacular. No super powers. My mother-in-law suggested that I start a blog and I thought "What!?! Why in the world would anyone want to read anything I have to say?" But the more I thought about it, the more her suggestion made sense. I've been trying to figure out a way to help other people and if there's someone out there that reads about me and my life adventures and thinks "I'm not the only one that feels that way?" and it makes them feel better, then it's definitely worth a shot.

I'm pretty sure I've suffered from depression most of my life. I just always remember an overwhelming feeling of disappointment, kind of like "Really? Is this really all there is?" Like I was missing something that everyone else seemed to "get". About 15 years ago it seemed to get worse and I finally talked to a doctor about the possibility of taking anti-depressants. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done but also one of the best things I've ever done. It felt like the sun finally came out from behind the clouds and there was just a little bit more joy in my world. I met my husband, got married and we had two beautiful little babies. However, after I had my second child, the depression worsened and I found myself overwhelmed, with no energy and very little patience with the kids. I felt like I was giving and giving everything I had to everyone around me and no one seemed to appreciate it. Whatever I did, it never seemed to be enough. I was still taking my anti-depressants but they just weren't doing the trick. I couldn't experiment with other depression medications because I was breast feeding my baby girl and couldn't risk taking something that wouldn't be good for her. I felt like I was destined to be stuck in my dark and dreary existence, missing out on the joy that was all around me but that I couldn't see because of my depression.

One day my wonderful husband introduced me to Success magazine. I'm not trying to sell subscriptions to Success magazine but I can honestly say that reading that first issue was a life changing experience for me. Every article in it was so positive and encouraging. From there I started listening to motivational audio books in my car on my way to work and back. I noticed immediately what an incredible influence they had on me. They gave me the glimmer of hope that I so desperately needed to help pull me out of my dark depression.

One of the things that I learned about from listening to all of those audio books and reading numerous other books is something called The Law of Attraction. The best definition I've come across for the Law of Attraction is this:

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy, and focus to, whether positive or negative. You can use the Law of Attraction deliberately and integrate it into their daily life. By doing this, you will attract all you need to do, know, and have so you can get more of what you want and less of what you don't want.

I try my best to make the Law of Attraction work for me but I have to admit, it's a struggle. Lately I have been wondering why I have such a hard time staying positive when I realize how important it is to keep a positive attitude. Even with everything I have learned, it seems like my default attitude is set for "negative". It's very frustrating to understand the importance of a positive attitude but not be able to actually maintain one, no mater how much you try.

In June 2011 our family moved from Sacramento, California to the North Shore of Massachusetts. It has been a tougher transition than I thought it would be but I am learning to enjoy some of the things that New England has to offer. And I love being so close to the ocean (even if it is the Atlantic rather than the Pacific). :-)

Last night I started reading the book "Happy For No Reason" by Marci Shimoff. I felt like I wrote the first few chapters myself. Marci wrote

"This book was born of my own deep longing to be happy. The kind of happy that is solid, true, and anchored in my being, so that no matter what my external circumstances are, there is still a feeling of unshakeable fulfillment, joy, and inner peace. Other people lived this way, so I knew it was possible. Yet for so many years, no matter what I did, it seemed to elude me. I knew there was something still missing. I just couldn't tell you what it was. I was happy about the things in my life, but not really happy...the deep happiness I craved just wasn't happening. I had every reason to be happy and yet I wasn't."

She goes on to write:

"That's when I shifted my focus to the idea of Happy for No Reason and started applying the principles I discovered through my research and interviews. As a result, my own happiness level took a quantum leap. I felt a greater sense of peace and well-being that came from deep inside."

After reading her words, I feel a new glimmer of hope. Maybe this is the step I've been missing that will help all of the other things I've learned fall into place.

So, that is the premise of my blog. My search for happiness in my every day life. I hope you'll join me on my journey and follow my progress.

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